This Is Me

I have never seen The Greatest Showman (its on my list and of course when I wanted it I couldn’t find it in stores) but I am literally obsessed with this song. Every single word speaks right to me.

That being said, here is a full disclosure. I don’t have a “private” life. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I’m not ashamed to talk about my past. I can be very intense. But I am not sorry about it and I won’t apologize for who I am. I have no filter. If you piss me off expect me to tell you. If I see something and most people would keep their mouth shut, expect me to point it out.

I’ve been through Hell. Again, I make no apologies. Some days I’m on top of the world and other days I am huddled in a ball crying. Yay bi polar. Its fun, really. I get overly emotional for things I shouldn’t get emotional about. Death in the media? No tears. The fact that I accidentally caught a Possum in our trap baited for a cat yesterday? I cried when I saw how freaked out he looked cause I felt terrible. Am I a people person? No. Not in the slightest. How my wife and my friends deal with me I will never understand. It’s not a secret I can’t stand the human race. It’s full of a bunch of small minded assholes. I have always gotten along with animals better than people. All animals. I don’t really discriminate. Right now we have a horse, dog, cat, and 2 rats. I’m always looking for a new 4 legged friend to join the herd. I hope someday we can move to a house that has a lot of land. I want horses. And goats. Have you ever been around goats? They are fucking hilarious.

It has occurred to me how off topic I keep getting. And then I remember. This is my blog. I can do whatever and say whatever I want. That is pretty liberating. This has been an amazing outlet for me and it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet. I could write 500 words about sandwiches if I wanted. Fun fact: I grew up in a town called Sandwich. Yes kids constantly asked me if I lived in a sandwich. Actually, some still do. It wasn’t funny when I was 10 and it’s not now either. Although seeing cruisers that say “sandwich police” on them makes me giggle sometimes. I wish I could draw. I’d draw a comic of a PB&J sandwich getting handcuffed. Seriously.

My mind is ridiculous. I was just telling my wife yesterday that the inside of my mind is like a million little hamsters running on computers powered by a hamster wheel. Her response? “Are they eating tiny burritos?” Yup, match made in Heaven.

We are a very interesting couple. I met her at my last job (actually my previous job too since I’m there part time for a little while to help out). I was her boss. That was a fun conversation with my store manager. What’s even more fun is that we have the same name. So of course we have many nicknames. My favorite is Jess squared. We are both math nerds so that is fairly fitting.

She’s got a 9 year old son from her previous relationship. I’ve been in there life for 3 years now. Well I have known her longer than that but relationship wise, we just had our 3 year anniversary. We aren’t actually married yet but we call each other “wives” as does everyone else so it’s just easier. If I said fiance you may assume I was with a guy. And that’s just gross. No offense to my straight friends. I love you all.

Even though he is my step son I consider him mine. We get him on weekends, which royally blows but it is what it is. We are very close. He’s always been super close to me, ever since we met. We bonded over our mutual love of video games. I’m pretty much like a 10 year old boy at heart. I love video games, nerf guns, and running around in the mud. So we get along perfectly. Occasionally I have to play the mom card and actually punish him or yell but for the most part he’s a pretty good kid.

Wow I really got off topic huh. Didn’t I start this with talking about a song I like? Oy. Welcome to the way my mind works. This is me.

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